is was it ahand? Aleg perhaps? No, that sounds like the name of a drunk vampire brooding for his lost love who happens to be a werewolf and also his mortal enemy… Really all of this to say that exciting things are were happening.
So, here’s the deal.
I started writing this draft (minus a small handful of modifications to the above paragraph to change the tense for you) back on March 2nd. At the end of February I decided to throw myself into my writing. I was at a place in my work/life balance that I had finally found a small shimmer of light to use on a long blown out, barely smoldering flame of passion for my writing. I’ve gone through it all before, the waxing and waning of depression and anxiety, feeling the weight of the entire world shouldered upon me. And, finally, I felt as though I was mentally in a position that I could reach for my passion, take hold of it gently and fan the ashes to look for, and ignite, that flame again.
Then the world began to crumble.
Not just around me (again). Around all of us.
The pandemic that we are all currently facing with Covid-19 began to affect Canada. Heavily. I had been casually watching, from afar, how it was beginning to affect the world. Then, it started to ramp up here.
I had only just changed my name here on this blog to reflect my long since married name because I was done living in the past in all shapes and forms. Shaking off the constraints I had that were attached to that name gave me a moment of closure, and I could feel the breath in my lungs beginning again.
I’ve been married for nearly 4 years now. It’s about time my writing reflected all of me.
Then things started to change. For everyone.
I started to collect news bites from local sources. Thinking I would have time to sit and organize my thoughts on the situation. It was a lofty goal/thought. Wanting to journal these thoughts, creating a play-by-play of my daily feelings and takeaways on everything. I could still make that happen. Now, however, we are about 5 weeks out from my first intended blog post that got derailed.
The one journal entry that I managed to write, was…dark. It spoke to my fears, and I’m still afraid. For a lot of reasons. Some that most people closest to me aren’t aware of.
And I’m dealing with those fears.
Facing them daily. Trying to live beyond them.
As I write this blog post the current Canadian numbers are as follows:
Total cases = 25,552 Deaths = 767 with total recovered = 7,665
The current Nova Scotian numbers are as follows:
Total Cases = 474 Deaths = 3 with total recovered = 101
By comparison, I’m sure, you can see a drastic difference in numbers from a whole country perspective to what we are seeing here in our little province. Things are getting worse. Far worse. Some provinces are showing 0 new case days. We are steadily showing more. I have family stretched across this province, in other provinces, and even all across the globe. I worry about them daily.
What do you do when your province, or town, or even country goes on lockdown? Millions of people have lost their jobs. Some of my family included. Some face health issues during this pandemic that are difficult to deal with on a good day. Some are facing their worse-case scenarios. Some, still, are working in essential services (like my wife and I) and are faced with the anxiety, fears, and stressful day-to-day life during this pandemic. Some are sitting at home battling boredom, restless kids, learning new hobbies, avoiding the public as they should.
It. All. Sucks.
Everything about this sucks. Some say it will be over by summer, some projections look to a 12-18 month reality. Whatever the case is, no matter the scenario, we have to do our best to be safe.
All of us.
Heed warnings of only travelling from home for work or to pick up essentials. Practice social distancing, with 2 meters between you and the next person doing their essential shopping. Choose one family member to shop for your household and stick to it. I haven’t stepped foot into a store since we went into emergency mode in NS mid March. I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss shopping with my wife on weekends. But I care about my health and those around me more than my current discomfort.
To quote a favourite news giver on the internet “Don’t be stupid, stupid.”
Stupid will get you sick. Stupid will get others sick. We are all at risk every time we leave home. Don’t make it harder on essential workers.
I don’t want to get sick.
I don’t want you to get sick.
Writing for me right now is difficult. This blog is a ranting haven that I don’t have the energy most days to face my own thoughts for. My novel(s) lay untouched for months now, my journal barely dusted off, my poetry lacking inspiration. And it all won’t be fixed for a long while. But I will do my best, as always. I will wake up tomorrow, go to work, walk home, shower immediately so that I can wash away hospital germs, and get up Wednesday morning and do it all again.
So, wash your damn hands, and give me some love and insight into what you’re doing during this pandemic to keep your sanity intact. Whatever you may be facing, you’re not alone. I’ll be back. Afterall, writing is cheaper than therapy.
Love and health to you all,