Oh hi. It’s been awhile. Feels like a thousand years. By the screen capture just below of my last few blog posts looks like it’s been just about 8 months since I’ve last graced my own blog with words.
Life has been hard guys. But I haven’t given up. Am I stronger? I guess. Am I happier? Maybe. Am I where I want to be? Not really. Am I where I need to be. Probably.
Currently, I’m burning a candle that claims it will bring Harmony & Balance. I’m counting on you candle! Every little bit helps. Outside fluffy snowflakes are falling. I’ve finished my morning coffee(s) and am contemplating putting a fresh pot on to combat this lazy Sunday and feel motivated to face this final day before starting another work week.
It’s already lunchtime.
How does my time off go so quickly? Is it because I dread the 9 to 5 life? Where evenings free are fleeting and weekends are filled with chores and errands that are insurmountable during the work week.
Is it because my creative side has been stifled due to responsibilities with life, work, and renovating our newly bought house? Pockets of unpacked boxes are scattered through various rooms in the house, months after moving in, waiting for furniture to be bought or built to be displayed on or used with. So much is left to do to the house before we feel at home here. Perhaps it’s all just a little overwhelming. So blogging, writing, even journaling has taken too much of a back seat. My brain feels unsatisfied with the time I have left in my day.
How do I get it back?
By forcing myself to sit in front of the computer alone? No distractions. Not even the thought of heading downstairs to make that fresh pot of coffee.
Is that the answer?
Well, it may, or may not, be the answer. But it’s what I’m doing right now. Ignoring the laundry that is half done downstairs. Ignoring the breakfast dishes that sit in the sink and on the stove. Ignoring my wonderful wife as she exercises and digs deep for the motivation that I am currently lacking.
Ignoring all responsibilities.
Because it’s easier.
In an hour the laundry will still be waiting for one of us to finish with it. The dishes will sit, soaking away the bits of this morning’s breakfast that are left. The floors will wait until we sweep away the cat fur and dirt. But will my creativity wait? I shouldn’t set this aside any longer should I? Bite the bullet and just upload this blog and see what happens. See who reads it. See who ignores it.
I like ignoring things too.
My journal sits next to my laptop currently. Actually, the Harmony & Balance candle sits on top. So many story ideas, poems, motivating words grace its pages.
Can I muster the energy to open it up?
Can I maybe find motivation within to rekindle my creativity?
Or should I just let that candle burn peacefully attempting to bring that needed Harmony & Balance to my brain right now?
Actually, maybe I will go make that fresh pot of coffee.
I’ll revisit my words a little later. Maybe once I’ve had a moment to look at the window and contemplate the meaning of my life a little more. Then I’ll have something new to write.
Thanks for bearing with me today friends.
Hopefully it won’t be another 8 months before I gather up enough courage to share my thoughts with you all.