I’ve lost it, friends.
I don’t know where to find it. (Because I am so sure that I’ve lost it, I’m going to only commit to a blog post for today and tomorrow. However, if I happen to find the motivation and ability to create more for you lovelies, then I will do just that.)
It’s not quite the motivation. It’s more the thought that my writing is any good at all. It’s this cycle of these thoughts lately.
“What do you want to do with your life?”
“Be a writer.”
“As a career?”
“So you want to earn money by writing.”
“Are you writing right now?”
“Because I’m depressed, work sucks the life out of me, and I think my writing is terrible.”
“That’s a lot of heavy excuses.”
“Yup. Also, I choose to escape with video games, reading, and binge-watching shows on Netflix, instead of pulling up my big girl panties and writing. Have you watched the Umbrella Academy or Russian Doll yet? Those two shows f*#@ed me up.” (Both in story and writing.)
Which leads me to those thoughts and feelings about my own writing not being good. In fact, I think it’s terrible. I may just be comparing it to what I’ve been consuming lately, but damn if it’s not hard to break that thought cycle. Also, with having been so sick lately it’s been easy to put off writing.
And it’s become a bit of a habit as well.
So I stand (sit) before you now, announcing my intentions of overcoming these thoughts, and completing my novel this year. In the end, it may be only a first draft. But it will be complete. The only way I will be able to accomplish this, is if I allow myself to write freely. Without having to be “perfect” in every word choice, sentence constructed, or paragraph penned.
What do you think?
Is this possible? Can I complete it in the next ten months? Should I shorten the time frame? How about 3 months? By summertime, I will have completed my first novel in my trilogy. Ah, that sounds promising. Stick around to find out if I’m successful?
Until tomorrow, much love.